Well, this sucks.
So, last night I was on the phone with my best friend. And she told me she isn’t able to be in my birthday entourage because her papa’s first anniversary mass starts tonight. I mean, I understand that it’s more important.. don’t get me wrong. It just sucks, because that’s all I really wanted was for her to be there- because we’ve been on the worst terms since 2014 started. I just hope she can go after the mass. Nothing would make my day more.
And I didn’t want to, but I already cried twice today. :p Totally off subject… but one around 12:45- which is so funny because that was around the time I was actually born. Lol. Happy Birthday to me!
I cannot stress enough on how much I fucking miss my best friend. I miss her soooo much :( ughhhh. I have never gone through something like this with any of my friends and it sucks ass. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT! I just want things to go back to normal. And I’m trying my best but why do you have to act like you just don’t care? Where the fuck are you Isa? I know my best friend is in that blinded mind somewhere..
Idk anymore. I find so many distractions, to keep my mind off of things that make me sad. But at the end of the day, I’m not okay. I hate how things are. I hate how time is going by so fucking fast. I hate how my best friend suddenly changed the way she looked at me. I hate how she just stopped caring about me, just because of her boyfriend. I hate how I’m gonna be 18 already next week. I don’t even feel like having my birthday party anymore. I hate how I have no self-motivation or anything to look forward to anymore. I hate how it’s like my body is just getting uglier by the days, and how everything makes me so insecure but I don’t show it. But most of all, I hate how I have so many fucking problems.. And you still manage to consume my thoughts & it just kills me.
Last night was so bad. Lots of tears and words left unsaid. I’m so confused and I don’t know what’s happening anymore. And everybody knows we’re having the worst of problems. I don’t even wanna go to school or talk to anyone now. I’m losing you more than I already did.. And I hate it so fucking much.
I just really miss my best friend. Where did she go?
boys moaning is basically the hottest thing a guy can do besides give you neck kisses